Gazing thru diffrent timezone..

2011 VS 2012

Finally! a day of rest arrived!! instead of resting! it became like more of a day or getting Bored laying on the bed Reading novels..!!! anyway.. today feeling kinda down somehow.. maybe cos everyone else is busy enjoying and ur stuck at home with no where to go..!!

Suddenly all my past life came like a flashlight thru my eyes!! today is the day where i gaze back and look back on the whole year that pass by.. looking back as we are reaching end of 2011.. and starting a new year 2012... and with hope and faith that the year would at least be better than the years before.. a year ahead , a year older, a year wiser... Gazing thru life is sometimes really nice when u remembered all those people u left behind with u and some that still carry on this world of Exploration with you...together each step at the time.. To those who was left behind.. doesnt mean they shud be forgotten.. each and every human that actually stepped in my life means alot to me.. there is a reason why God always makes u meet people. for good or bad... If good is for you to know that there is still good existence in this world.. and for bad.. so ull be aware on ur next step...

Coming to end of a year full of memories sometimes are hard.. as we step into a new world.. not knowing who are we taking with u..and who are we leaving behind... I would always love to collect back each one of those i met in my life and make them as statues so i can remember each and everyone of them that ive met in life.. But only if my cupboard is big enuff to fit all of em in :P :P

This feeling which im feeling today.. is neither sad.. or happy... its Neutral... cos .. looking back on this 1 whole year which i spend dedicating my life to! some which are worth it.. but some which are not ...makes me feel i didn't accomplish much yet..and time is running out .. and i have no where to run to.. no destination to go to.. and ive been running in circles all my life.. finding which direction should i follow and it will lead me to my chamber of happiness.. but I still fail.. and i fail.. and i fail.. but i will not stop.. cos the day i stop running and chasing for something i think is there.. jst that i need to find it.. is the day where i QUIT...and no one will run for me.. why shud i even stop? no one will carry me and run a mile for me.. no one will even bother seeing me stop to offer help... Cos since the day i am born.. its always about me.. myself and I.. and till death comes to grab me, i will die alone... no one will follow me.. soo why shud i stop running.. even if nothing seems to be clear.. no visions on what destination is.. not everyone born with ambitious attitude that they have set straight their goal right in front of them..

so yeah.. i dont have no where to run to.. i dun have any goals in life.. cos no one knows if they will be living up till they achive it or not? i might be around today..and might not be around 2morow.. why aim too high..when all u need is another day of living... when all u pray for god to extend another night for u to see the world again... :) future is important..yes it is.. but isnt that the future ur gonna build? U are gonna work on ur present for ur future.. so why worry?? whats the point of worrying? like a quote i used to like


*** If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it ..If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying? ***

Which is true enuff.. wats the point of worrying how ur future looks like :) u might not even know if ull be alive till then or not.. Make good use of ur present and stop worrying about future. so MR 2012.. Ull have to wait.. cos im not worried about wat ur gonna bring... Im worried about what ive missed in 2011... what mistakes have i done in 2011.. im gonna worry about who are those people that will still step ahead with me to 2012.. who are those people who i wish to just say Im sorry too.. or Thank you for everything too... before its too late....

I have too much to think about.. and this very lazy saturday where i am laying on bed with nothing but to talk to my Virtual wall which i think it might help.. and its not really!..I am gonna really miss my 2011.. with all those sweet memories, sweet stories... bitter ending.. bitter heart broken... and mixxed it up all together and its such a bittersweet memories that needs to be cherished. I thank Allah for making my life better than all those years before.. really Thanks Allah for making me wiser in a way i never would imagine one day ill be in.. and thanks for giving me more opportunity... I admit that sumtimes i do not turn to u when im happy.. ill be swept away and turn to my frens for celebration..when the only one thing i shud be doin was to pray to u and thanked you for all those uve given me.. but yet, you are the most merciful and uve still accept my forgiveness.. and to all my frens.. Forgive me if ive done all wrong things in 2011.. and also thanks for being a fren to me when im in need... and stand by my side when im in depression... thanks for everyone that supported me.. I do wish u guys a very very Happy 2012... and ill blow a bittersweet kiss on 2011 thats almost ending... May we have a peaceful years to come :)

GOOD BYE 2011

&

WELCOME