Perfect is always about being Imperfect

Its been ages since i last did a blog and blab about life or at least things that is bothering my mind..Guess today will be the chosen day for blabbing since i have nothing else to do :) as usual :D Well lately I take a walk around in the park.. sit n think of what is my destination or what will it be that my life will be heading towards... Anyway... i might sumhow find my self one day.. i guess i need all those patient to carry on now without any destination.. Its just that i have those 4 lanes in front of me with different path which i dont even know which of it i want and which of it i should choose.. so basically.. i guess ill just wait for a sign from God that i might sumhow find where do i stand one day :)

Sooooo new things in life for now.. nothing much changes.. some people come some people goes.. as normal.. :) life rotates really fast, things swrilling around me in a phase which i cant even catch... i am trying to run when all i wanna do is walk... im try to cope when all i wanna do is just sit back and relax... Living my life with my frens.. my dear ones.. and people who i adore and look up too...for those who are remaining in my life.. thanks for still coping with me as i know im a hard to handle person..

I think boldly.. i talk loudly.. I am messy person, Iam transparent and I do not eat with my mouth close... i chew food with sound.. i walk on the road barefooted sometimes.. my hair is not always in place, i might have my make up smudge on my face when im literally tired... my closet is not full of designer clothes.. I don't plaster on a smile when im unhappy.. I don't fake around.. I show you my real self cos I always believes that honesty is the best policy... People might find me rude cos i speak my mind... people might find it absurd when i comment on what i dont like.. or people will find it disturbing knowing i have a past life which is not what they wanted to hear...

I'm not perfect, I never tried to be. I've made mistakes. I've taken the easy way out. I've lied once in a while. I've said things that I didn't mean to when im angry. I'm no better than anyone, anywhere. I'm human. I have faults, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I want to change, but I won't. Because that's what we do. That's what we've always done. We list our faults like a grocery list, and we move on, expecting everything to somehow change itself. It never will. I will never change. I will never be perfect. I will always make mistakes.

This is my life.. its better i tell the truth than hide behind those veils of lies... i don't wanna be judge cos of my past... I wanna be known for my present and what ill become in my future.. People with narrow minds will never understand.. its always easy for u to point out mistakes of others because of their past.. have u ever sat down and give a thot about ur own past?? how would u feel people start criticizing you cos what happen in ur past when u urself have such a horrible one?? sometimes it just dosent really seems fair.. but hey! this is life right? :)

Every-bodies finger is not the same size.. they might have a different ways,, they dont walk, talk, think and believe in the same thing.. they do what they think its right.. they do it with thier heart.. but people tend to misunderstood... ""being transparent isnt something good"" **thats what my mom said.. but Mom... that is how God made me.. i am born with a brain and heart just like others.. but God gives me characteristic that is based on what i believed in && that is what makes me Shafareena.... and yes.. i dont think like others, i dont talk like them.. i dont hide things and i am straight forward.. cos that is what differentiate me from the rest.. I cant change that just to satisfy the other people.. at least i have the guts to face and tell them about my weaknesses ... cos im not afraid on how they judge me.. and Mom.. i want a person to be with me sincerely and i want a person to accept me fully .. not FAKE and sweet at the beginning but then just ran away like the others without confronting anything... its just too childish....

I want them to love me for who I am.. not for who I'm NOT....

I'm not perfect, but I'm ME!

If they are not comfortable with me.. i never force anyone to stay... I must admit im not the BEST among all.. i tend to do alot of mistakes.. i tend to create alot of scene.. i might be spoiled brat as some called me.. and i might seems to be too transparent.. Well.. that is me.. i come in package.. i didn't present myself to you saying Im perfect and accept me.. I present myself to you as Beautifully imperfect I am... but whatever people say, and criticize me of being to Honest... In the name of God.. I will NEVER EVER change that cos that is what i am... I am honest and im not afraid of what people gonna say... Cos Allah said.. being honest is the way in Islam.. Lying will always brings trouble.. If people nowadays feels they wanna hear lies and live with it.. than Mom im sorry.. im not part of that society... Even tho my honesty is something that i might not be proud of... But at least i have the courage to face what people got to say to me... At least i know that Allah is there to show me human faces on how fake they can be :) but I am me.. I will never change ... Ill keep my heart for the one who can accept me the way i am with my weaknesses.. cos i am just simply imperfect....

First Blog 2012

Woow.. Been a long time since i last blog.. Guess the workload is taking its toll on me!! >> waittt.. yeahhh right!! Im in night shift!! and as if in nite shift i do anything other than just sleeping eating.. sleeping reading novels.. eating n facebooking ( not mentioning FB is getting seriously boring nowdays) but yeah!!! i have no idea why the hell i just din bother to open the blog space and start mumble something.. :) but anyway now i am so... I guess is not a big deal after all :D

Well well well.. This wud be my first Blog in 2012... And yeay me! i have no freaking idea on what to write about at all.. Is not tat 2012 is a bad beginning for me !! to come to think of it.. as i was soo excited about it last year that 2011 was ending.. i didnt really feel any difference with 2012 arriving!! other than hearing everyone else whining about the so called END OF THE WORLD 2012.. What a bunch of losers you guys are!! anyway i will surely be ready with popcorn and ill take the BEST SEAT ever at my window ( now i wish i have a pent house cos of the view would be more nicer than my own room window... DamN! --- but anyway.. yeah.. ill be ready to watch and laugh out loud when 31st reach and if its still not END OF thE World.. ill Laugh soo loud that i think my eye might pop up from my head ... cos what i can say.. THE STUPIDITY of human sometimes have no limits.. when they gets to be real total dumb.. They prone to take advantage of it and humiliate themselves in front of the whole world :) Not to mention making an embarrassing statement such as.. Oh That was based on assumption last year when i really thot it wud be END OF WORLD...

Hello dude!! if u really know all that.. rather than bloody preaching about how this world is gonna end.. Go try do some charity works that can actually make a place for u in heaven.. Preaching about how end of the world is coming till it comes not gonna build itself a stairs for u to heaven u doink! hahahah Anyway.. Nostradamus and all those believers really can prove their stupidity soon enuff :) Conspiracy is YET to COME :) BEHOLD my fellow believers :P ull be proven on How small ur brain is to compare to the size of a torties head....

Anyway since i really have no idea what i jst mumbles just now :) i think i dont wanna make my 2012 First blog as a insulting blog :) so yeah.. ill just end it here :D anyway .. for those who just started their life journey !! :) Hope u have a blessed and memorable year ahead!! :)

And those that are single still!! Go out.. find a date.. go find a blind date.. Go meet ur FB frens.. Or go make frens around :) no one knows that in those one of ur **suppose to be frens list ** sumone might fall for u for who u are :) and u might just end up being not single anymore but double :) but a small reminder!!! :) dont force wats not urs.. Let it be.. if it ever come back.. means it belongs to you :) if it never does means !! :) go on alone.. cos one day u might step or bump into a man of ur life without u even realizing it :) soo patient is what god Loves the most in all of human being heart!! :) so be patient ull get the BEst Out Of whole Lot !! cos u patiently waiting :) soo ENJOY ur life as it is. Have nice time to urself and pamper urself alot :) but dun go beyond limit of having time of ur life :) XoXO From me for nw.. Till I bloG Again!! :)