A New Hope Angel

Perfect is always about being Imperfect

2012-01-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

Its been ages since i last did a blog and blab about life or at least things that is bothering my mind..Guess today will be the chosen day for blabbing since i have nothing else to do :) as usual :D Well lately I take a walk around in the park.. sit n think of what is my destination or what will it be that my life will be heading towards... Anyway... i might sumhow find my self one day.. i guess i need all those patient to carry on now without any destination.. Its just that i have those 4 lanes in front of me with different path which i dont even know which of it i want and which of it i should choose.. so basically.. i guess ill just wait for a sign from God that i might sumhow find where do i stand one day :)

Sooooo new things in life for now.. nothing much changes.. some people come some people goes.. as normal.. :) life rotates really fast, things swrilling around me in a phase which i cant even catch... i am trying to run when all i wanna do is walk... im try to cope when all i wanna do is just sit back and relax... Living my life with my frens.. my dear ones.. and people who i adore and look up too...for those who are remaining in my life.. thanks for still coping with me as i know im a hard to handle person..

I think boldly.. i talk loudly.. I am messy person, Iam transparent and I do not eat with my mouth close... i chew food with sound.. i walk on the road barefooted sometimes.. my hair is not always in place, i might have my make up smudge on my face when im literally tired... my closet is not full of designer clothes.. I don't plaster on a smile when im unhappy.. I don't fake around.. I show you my real self cos I always believes that honesty is the best policy... People might find me rude cos i speak my mind... people might find it absurd when i comment on what i dont like.. or people will find it disturbing knowing i have a past life which is not what they wanted to hear...

I'm not perfect, I never tried to be. I've made mistakes. I've taken the easy way out. I've lied once in a while. I've said things that I didn't mean to when im angry. I'm no better than anyone, anywhere. I'm human. I have faults, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I want to change, but I won't. Because that's what we do. That's what we've always done. We list our faults like a grocery list, and we move on, expecting everything to somehow change itself. It never will. I will never change. I will never be perfect. I will always make mistakes.

This is my life.. its better i tell the truth than hide behind those veils of lies... i don't wanna be judge cos of my past... I wanna be known for my present and what ill become in my future.. People with narrow minds will never understand.. its always easy for u to point out mistakes of others because of their past.. have u ever sat down and give a thot about ur own past?? how would u feel people start criticizing you cos what happen in ur past when u urself have such a horrible one?? sometimes it just dosent really seems fair.. but hey! this is life right? :)

Every-bodies finger is not the same size.. they might have a different ways,, they dont walk, talk, think and believe in the same thing.. they do what they think its right.. they do it with thier heart.. but people tend to misunderstood... ""being transparent isnt something good"" **thats what my mom said.. but Mom... that is how God made me.. i am born with a brain and heart just like others.. but God gives me characteristic that is based on what i believed in && that is what makes me Shafareena.... and yes.. i dont think like others, i dont talk like them.. i dont hide things and i am straight forward.. cos that is what differentiate me from the rest.. I cant change that just to satisfy the other people.. at least i have the guts to face and tell them about my weaknesses ... cos im not afraid on how they judge me.. and Mom.. i want a person to be with me sincerely and i want a person to accept me fully .. not FAKE and sweet at the beginning but then just ran away like the others without confronting anything... its just too childish....

I want them to love me for who I am.. not for who I'm NOT....

I'm not perfect, but I'm ME!

If they are not comfortable with me.. i never force anyone to stay... I must admit im not the BEST among all.. i tend to do alot of mistakes.. i tend to create alot of scene.. i might be spoiled brat as some called me.. and i might seems to be too transparent.. Well.. that is me.. i come in package.. i didn't present myself to you saying Im perfect and accept me.. I present myself to you as Beautifully imperfect I am... but whatever people say, and criticize me of being to Honest... In the name of God.. I will NEVER EVER change that cos that is what i am... I am honest and im not afraid of what people gonna say... Cos Allah said.. being honest is the way in Islam.. Lying will always brings trouble.. If people nowadays feels they wanna hear lies and live with it.. than Mom im sorry.. im not part of that society... Even tho my honesty is something that i might not be proud of... But at least i have the courage to face what people got to say to me... At least i know that Allah is there to show me human faces on how fake they can be :) but I am me.. I will never change ... Ill keep my heart for the one who can accept me the way i am with my weaknesses.. cos i am just simply imperfect....

First Blog 2012

2012-01-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

Woow.. Been a long time since i last blog.. Guess the workload is taking its toll on me!! >> waittt.. yeahhh right!! Im in night shift!! and as if in nite shift i do anything other than just sleeping eating.. sleeping reading novels.. eating n facebooking ( not mentioning FB is getting seriously boring nowdays) but yeah!!! i have no idea why the hell i just din bother to open the blog space and start mumble something.. :) but anyway now i am so... I guess is not a big deal after all :D

Well well well.. This wud be my first Blog in 2012... And yeay me! i have no freaking idea on what to write about at all.. Is not tat 2012 is a bad beginning for me !! to come to think of it.. as i was soo excited about it last year that 2011 was ending.. i didnt really feel any difference with 2012 arriving!! other than hearing everyone else whining about the so called END OF THE WORLD 2012.. What a bunch of losers you guys are!! anyway i will surely be ready with popcorn and ill take the BEST SEAT ever at my window ( now i wish i have a pent house cos of the view would be more nicer than my own room window... DamN! --- but anyway.. yeah.. ill be ready to watch and laugh out loud when 31st reach and if its still not END OF thE World.. ill Laugh soo loud that i think my eye might pop up from my head ... cos what i can say.. THE STUPIDITY of human sometimes have no limits.. when they gets to be real total dumb.. They prone to take advantage of it and humiliate themselves in front of the whole world :) Not to mention making an embarrassing statement such as.. Oh That was based on assumption last year when i really thot it wud be END OF WORLD...

Hello dude!! if u really know all that.. rather than bloody preaching about how this world is gonna end.. Go try do some charity works that can actually make a place for u in heaven.. Preaching about how end of the world is coming till it comes not gonna build itself a stairs for u to heaven u doink! hahahah Anyway.. Nostradamus and all those believers really can prove their stupidity soon enuff :) Conspiracy is YET to COME :) BEHOLD my fellow believers :P ull be proven on How small ur brain is to compare to the size of a torties head....

Anyway since i really have no idea what i jst mumbles just now :) i think i dont wanna make my 2012 First blog as a insulting blog :) so yeah.. ill just end it here :D anyway .. for those who just started their life journey !! :) Hope u have a blessed and memorable year ahead!! :)

And those that are single still!! Go out.. find a date.. go find a blind date.. Go meet ur FB frens.. Or go make frens around :) no one knows that in those one of ur **suppose to be frens list ** sumone might fall for u for who u are :) and u might just end up being not single anymore but double :) but a small reminder!!! :) dont force wats not urs.. Let it be.. if it ever come back.. means it belongs to you :) if it never does means !! :) go on alone.. cos one day u might step or bump into a man of ur life without u even realizing it :) soo patient is what god Loves the most in all of human being heart!! :) so be patient ull get the BEst Out Of whole Lot !! cos u patiently waiting :) soo ENJOY ur life as it is. Have nice time to urself and pamper urself alot :) but dun go beyond limit of having time of ur life :) XoXO From me for nw.. Till I bloG Again!! :)

2012 Here I come :)

2011-12-28T11:10:00.001-08:00

♥ ♥ ♥ Living Live Crazy Loud!! Have a Blast!! Be FunkY.. Be Bold..

Be Straight FOward.. Be Creative.. Be HappY~ Be All ArouNd...

Be FLexiBle.. Be In LOve... Get Broken.. Get UpseT...

Cry As much as u want... Run IN the Rain~ Love again~ Run around &

Get Dirty ... Full of Mud~~~ Laugh out Loud...Dance wildly ...

headBang Once In A while~~ Sing With uR Heart~~ be annoying...

Take Risk.. LOVE LIVE LIFE~~ EXplore N discoVer~ :) be mesmerized..

thats wat life is all about ♥ ♥

This was my status update.. to come to think of it ... its kinda fun! if u cud do all this at once :) hey we still do live ONCE in a lifetime! so quit whining and start moving~ ( that if you have a destination tho! :P if you dont have.. you can always run in circles?? :P ))

Anyway~ wanna elaborate on why all those at once!! dont you feel happy if you can walk and talk at the same time.. how life would be meaningful if you can spend ur time to urself at the lake looking across the bridge waiting for God knows wat MIRACLE probably?? WHo cares!! sit enjoy ur time ... Talk to urself if you have too... Scold and scream when ur at a quiet place.. Run around like insane... Jump in Joy even when ur sad!! smile when ur crying... Cry when ur smiling... Love when ur broken.... Break when ur lovinG~ ( lool that dosent seem to sound right :P ) but anyway...

Life is all about .. walk in the rain.. get soaked.. and get sick.... Laugh at the stupidest joke... Smile at sarcasm ... Cry when ur heart broken... Get back up when life kicks u down on the ground... Scratch ur head when ur blur!! DIG ur nose when its itchy!!! Bite ur nails when ur nervous!! Hop around like a rabbit!!! Sniff when u fart~~ LOve a person Like its thier last day on earth!! Be Silly.. Be Angry.. Be happy~~ Be pessimistic.. Be Optimistic... Look at the glass that is Half empty and half full point of view.. Be Clueless!! be rackless.. Be Lovely.. Be adorable..

Eat watever u like... Be Fat~! bE Super SkinnY! Be Dirty!! Be Untidy.. Be messy!! Eat with your hands.. ( forget bout being soo HIGH CLASs that u need a freaking fork and spoon.. especially those in Hotels where u DONT even freaking know Which fork or Spoon U need for the meals ) >> damn i Hate that when it happens!! anyway.. yeah.. Eat with ur hands.. LIck it once ur done!!! Chew With ur mouth Open if u have too!! Be Crazy.. Be wild... Be wat u wanna be..

Nobody is PErfect.. and Noboday Need to be!! :) you are always the way u are!! If they shud lOve u.. They shud love You for who You are!! :) and not for Who Your Not!!! Never Hide the True inner Self of you.. Cos the day you do that~.. You Are Emberessed of your Own Life and Own self :) dont live on the Expectation of others.. Always do live on Ur own expectation!! Get dissapointed.. Get Heartbroken.. Heal your Broken Heart with a glue!!! Go out search for LOve!! go out Get yourself Injured!! Play Sport.. Go climbing!! go diVinG... Go CampinG!.. Go SkiinG ( unless ur in Malaysia where u cant even try ><" damn ) ... Go Ice Skating~!.. Go BunJEe JumPIng.. Go SkyDivinG~ ( dun kill urself ... ) lIve Ur Life LIke its your last day on Earth~~ Look At yourself In the mirror and Praise uRself.. cos U DeservE to Be Praised... We Are Beautifull in Our Own ways... :) Be confident .. be Self possesive.. Be Protected!! be seCured.. Be Lovely!! Be Whoever U wanna be... the Most important of all....

BE YOURSELF

No matter good of bad... Dont Impress others for who ur not.. You are what you are!!

be your own self is better than pretending being sumone that ur not..

love ur life.. love ur attitude.. love ur self..

be in limit.. Dont cross it.. dont suicide.. dont hurt urself ... Love ur life..

Cos once its gone.. There is no turning back... Always remember..

You will be Loved by the one who truly loves u from the heart..

so Believe in Love.. take risk.. get broken.. And heal back :) there is no ending in that for sure!!

<3 <3 Love U guys now and always <3 <3

Now go on..!!! go do watever Uve Missed in life :) every 60 second u spend on being sad

is that one bloody minute of happiness that will never return...

2011-12-25T01:13:00.000-08:00

Since its been Long, ive been keeping all those feelings inside me for the past few months.. Before ending 2011. i wanna take it out.. and start fresh i guess!!! soo to those who are interested .. stay tuned!! to those who are not.. :) ur mostly welcome to press (X) :) Im gona warn u that its really boring!! and will be even bored if u dun understand wat exactly the feelings is like :) soo dun tell me i din warn ya!! :) Well Well well.. before we get to the boring part... Lemme ask all of u one question... Anyone have fell in love before??? In all , how many have broken a heart?? or got broken?? well i guess many of u have experienced it... But seriously.. how many of u really felt like GIVING UP..?? well.. i did... I eventually gave up to the one and only thing called LOVE....Is not that love is wrong... bcos all of us know that LOVE is the one and only thing on earth that is the sweetest when its true.. but bitter when its fake!!

MY MINI SO CALLED DIARY

This time I wanna talk about a broken heart. Everybody’s hearts are not to be broken but it broke anyways. And when it broke, shattered into pieces, in some time, somebody will put it back into the right place, glued it, or even nail it, or sew it, whatever it is.......

If you've ever been depressed, then maybe you know where I'm coming from. It’s like one minute you’re fine, and the next minute something happens that makes you think -- i mean really think -- and then you’re totally empty u blank out.. The only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally L O S T,

Its like you don't mean anything to anyone anymore.. ( yea i sound like im EMO, but seriously that is exactly what i feel ) . All you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don't want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing seems to come out right. Everything seems to be so wrong... You wanna share the feelings but at the same very time u know they wont get wat u mean... cos they are not in ur shoe and they dont have a broken heart like you.... someday you just feel like uou don't want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. You think that all your friends hate you and only talk to you because they feel bad for you. You know complete strangers judge you just because of how you look and how you act, and when you think about how you’re not as lucky as the crowd that surrounds you, it makes you feel even worse. And of the two people that are supposed to love you the most in the world, one left you, and the other has to scream at you sometimes because they get angry and upset too. You feel like you will probably search your whole life for that one person that you can totally trust that you can love forever, who will never ever hurt you, but you know somewhere deep down that you'll probably never find him. That ONE and only probably doesn’t even exist, so you just give up, you want so desperately to be alone, but at the same time you fear it so much.

You know how it is like to be left alone.. in a total darkness.you know how it feels like to to let your friends down and always be selfish, isolated, self conscious, bitter, whiny, and obsessive just because u have a problem of your own... You listen to what everyone else has to say, but you never tell them how YOU REALLY feel, because that would mean revealing part of yourself, and you just can't do that, (is not that im soo secretive , but somethings are just not meant to be shared) ..... you can't let anyone really know you. And your opinion wouldn't matter to them anyway, and most of all if you took the time to sit down and try to get all your feelings out for the first time in your life, it would be completely overwhelming and if anyone ever listened to all of that, they would have to agree with you on what you feel. but u also know that u cant reveal ur life like a Diary... so u continue built this feeling inside deeper and deeper that it kills u softly... Life is not always happy, everyone knows that.. but we are read stories since we are baby, about how fairy tales have happy endings.. and why are they putting so much hopes on us since we were young.. we tend to listen to their story day after day before sleeping... and dreaming about how happy ending wud even put a smile in our lifes.. and when we grow old. they keep telling us that like is not a fairy tales.. then why do u keep on reading em if its not real..

Try reading a true story book to kids so they wont end up expecting too much when they grew older.. Whining sometimes do help u think more clearly on what ur whining about.. what exactly that your heart wants?? what issit that u think u dont have in life and want it.. what do u really looking forward too.. so yeah.. im not whining here to create attention.. or need your pity... but what is the real reason is.. for me to take out all. and start a new year with a new feelings... Taking out feelings sometimes are good.. but sometimes are bad.. depends on what u really write!!.. for now people know im depressed.. but no one really know wats the exact reason behind it.. So whine all u want.. but keep a limit to ur story!! not every Blog is like a Fairy tale story! that u have a prince n princess.. and the happily ever after....

well for those who are in Love.. take care of ur love ones.. if u ever feel they are the one... then cling to them like a child clinging to their mother.. if he for once did something that causes u a doubt.. than no point of u thinking if u shud or shud not... :) I may have gave up on what i call (LOVE)... but i still have faith in it... i still believe the right guy will come at the right time..and everything about LOVE will be OH-SO-RIGHT at that moment.. :) and im still waiting! :)

2012.. Bring me something i call happiness please.. cos i think its time for me to get back on my feet..and start smiling... quit whining and start appreciating on life around me.. at least the one and only reason im still smiling is that im still alive.. to at least see others around me getting married and LOVE do exist in this world.. Even if its not for me.. for others would at least make me still believing in the existence of LOVE....

~~~Sometimes bad things happen for no reason, no purpose. They just occur and we're left to pick up the pieces the best we can. -- Felicity~~~~~~

Gazing thru diffrent timezone..

2011-12-24T00:20:00.000-08:00

2011 VS 2012

Finally! a day of rest arrived!! instead of resting! it became like more of a day or getting Bored laying on the bed Reading novels..!!! anyway.. today feeling kinda down somehow.. maybe cos everyone else is busy enjoying and ur stuck at home with no where to go..!!

Suddenly all my past life came like a flashlight thru my eyes!! today is the day where i gaze back and look back on the whole year that pass by.. looking back as we are reaching end of 2011.. and starting a new year 2012... and with hope and faith that the year would at least be better than the years before.. a year ahead , a year older, a year wiser... Gazing thru life is sometimes really nice when u remembered all those people u left behind with u and some that still carry on this world of Exploration with you...together each step at the time.. To those who was left behind.. doesnt mean they shud be forgotten.. each and every human that actually stepped in my life means alot to me.. there is a reason why God always makes u meet people. for good or bad... If good is for you to know that there is still good existence in this world.. and for bad.. so ull be aware on ur next step...

Coming to end of a year full of memories sometimes are hard.. as we step into a new world.. not knowing who are we taking with u..and who are we leaving behind... I would always love to collect back each one of those i met in my life and make them as statues so i can remember each and everyone of them that ive met in life.. But only if my cupboard is big enuff to fit all of em in :P :P

This feeling which im feeling today.. is neither sad.. or happy... its Neutral... cos .. looking back on this 1 whole year which i spend dedicating my life to! some which are worth it.. but some which are not ...makes me feel i didn't accomplish much yet..and time is running out .. and i have no where to run to.. no destination to go to.. and ive been running in circles all my life.. finding which direction should i follow and it will lead me to my chamber of happiness.. but I still fail.. and i fail.. and i fail.. but i will not stop.. cos the day i stop running and chasing for something i think is there.. jst that i need to find it.. is the day where i QUIT...and no one will run for me.. why shud i even stop? no one will carry me and run a mile for me.. no one will even bother seeing me stop to offer help... Cos since the day i am born.. its always about me.. myself and I.. and till death comes to grab me, i will die alone... no one will follow me.. soo why shud i stop running.. even if nothing seems to be clear.. no visions on what destination is.. not everyone born with ambitious attitude that they have set straight their goal right in front of them..

so yeah.. i dont have no where to run to.. i dun have any goals in life.. cos no one knows if they will be living up till they achive it or not? i might be around today..and might not be around 2morow.. why aim too high..when all u need is another day of living... when all u pray for god to extend another night for u to see the world again... :) future is important..yes it is.. but isnt that the future ur gonna build? U are gonna work on ur present for ur future.. so why worry?? whats the point of worrying? like a quote i used to like

*** If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it ..If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying? ***

Which is true enuff.. wats the point of worrying how ur future looks like :) u might not even know if ull be alive till then or not.. Make good use of ur present and stop worrying about future. so MR 2012.. Ull have to wait.. cos im not worried about wat ur gonna bring... Im worried about what ive missed in 2011... what mistakes have i done in 2011.. im gonna worry about who are those people that will still step ahead with me to 2012.. who are those people who i wish to just say Im sorry too.. or Thank you for everything too... before its too late....

I have too much to think about.. and this very lazy saturday where i am laying on bed with nothing but to talk to my Virtual wall which i think it might help.. and its not really!..I am gonna really miss my 2011.. with all those sweet memories, sweet stories... bitter ending.. bitter heart broken... and mixxed it up all together and its such a bittersweet memories that needs to be cherished. I thank Allah for making my life better than all those years before.. really Thanks Allah for making me wiser in a way i never would imagine one day ill be in.. and thanks for giving me more opportunity... I admit that sumtimes i do not turn to u when im happy.. ill be swept away and turn to my frens for celebration..when the only one thing i shud be doin was to pray to u and thanked you for all those uve given me.. but yet, you are the most merciful and uve still accept my forgiveness.. and to all my frens.. Forgive me if ive done all wrong things in 2011.. and also thanks for being a fren to me when im in need... and stand by my side when im in depression... thanks for everyone that supported me.. I do wish u guys a very very Happy 2012... and ill blow a bittersweet kiss on 2011 thats almost ending... May we have a peaceful years to come :)

GOOD BYE 2011

&

WELCOME

ChristMas Fever~~

2011-12-22T17:41:00.001-08:00

Well after a few days not blogging.. kinda makes me miss it anyway!!! Nothing much to be said.. or any interesting topic anyway.. Heads feels heavy.. Nose is like a tap water running all night long.. Throat is as sore as it can be.. Visions are blurry Murry.. Cough is still there..(imagine for 1 week plus now) <--- yeah yeah medicine will surely help.. if only i can OPEN my mouth to eat it..And no guys.. im not dying of any disease .. Im just not feeling well.. and NO it wont kill me!!...

Writting this blog with a running nose is not an easy thing to do.. one hand keeps on holding the water from dripping.. and one more typing.. and eventually when u feel u need to type faster.. u wanna type with both hand.. Now that ur hands are **not so clean** ur thinking of.. shud i still type! and eventually u still do!! and ( yeah i know its gross.. but as if u never did it before -- you so-called -hygiene-freak ) .. anyway .. lets not talk about how filthy i may seem to be :) cos its tooo oBvious by now :D

Anyway.. tonight is a Mehendi Night for one of my close cousin.. He is getting married on this sunday!! Hope u have a great life ahead of you.. hope to see u have a fairy tale ending! :) and if u are in doubt of getting married.. then.. ill suggest you to............................. RUN AWAY.. u still have time :P hahahahah

Anyway thinking of wat to wear for tonight.. and how to stop my NOSE from drooling all over ( yeah finally i made it sound nicer than dripping :D ) anyway.. In the office now!! dun ask me why im here and not taking MC when im sick.. I WOULD LOVE TOOOO take MC.. but its just that nO people around!! damn!! and plus today is SALARY day( that was the main point actually ) :D hahaha soo basically that was wat made me wake up in a smile today! :) finally i can go on SHOPPING mode!! ( damn sha.. is tat all wat u dO?? ) --- yea.. kinda i guess.. since ur single!! BUY watever u want.. once ur DOUBLE ... is always TROUBLE.. soo :D buy it now.. Anyway god knws wat am i Blabing now!! I felt like just to delete this whole post.. but remembering that i struggle to do this Post! im gonna just leave it on! sorry guys!! today head is spinning too much.. so my words spelling and all those!! please ignore ... anyway.. Enjoy ur weekends bloggers!!

MERYY CHRISTMAS && A HAPPY HO HO HO!!!

Merry Christmas and a happy Ho Ho Ho!! to everyone that celebrating!! i wish i can go out and celebrate as well! :) but ill see if i have the chance to!! To those that are celebrating! ask SANTA for an extra present.. Ive been a gud girl thruout this year.. ( i have a halo on my head -- cant u see ) the only thing is its not shinning! :P a bit rusty halo! :) but hey!! its still a HALO aint it? :P

so yeah.. MR Santa! if ur reading this.. I want a DSLR camera! and a IPHONE 4S.. or maybe Samsung Galaxy S2 would do.. Mr Santa! please make my dream come tru!! ill Love u now and forever :D (( not that im really believing it.. but its kinda fun asking Santa for some present which i know will never appear anyway ) hahha! :) MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! :) and an ADVANCE NEW YEAR 2012 :) A year older and a year wiser.. but not another year of waste hopefully =)

WHat Is Life???

2011-12-15T09:14:00.000-08:00

Here i am again.. finding a peace of my mind while blogging about my life and what its all about.. Sometimes is weird in how we can actually talk to something call a **virtual wall** where we dont have the guts in the real world to face the people and talk to them about what exactly is the feelings inside.. Ive came to notice that nowdays people talk to machine more than humans.. (anyway im just blending in as that is what they call TECHNOLOGY).. So here i am talking to my machine which sounded like i am a maniac but who cares anyway ( you too do the same dont ya? )

back to the topic.. kinda found something interesting to blab about for a while... What LIFE is all about? Hope to really make a good moral story... im not a good writer.. but here is where i practice my talent tho! :) hope u guys life this story im going to share ...

WHAT IS LIFE ??

What is life? anyone can answer you with their own theory of what life is based on their life experience.. so here i am.. stating what life is about from My point of view. what is life in my own dictionary..

Life is something that is given by God to us with trust that we will Obey him truthfully enough not to jeopardize our life but to build a better one.. Got to admit that everyone have their own set of life... and everyone is having their own life which might not be similar to one another.. but whatever you do in ur life no matter good or bad will be still counted by God in so many way.. As some of them believe there is God and some that don't believe in the existence of God at all. There is a little story on how i wanna put it out whats my point of view in life..

so here we go! God has created a whole bunch of people in this world and sat them down in front of a huge banquet table filled with hamburgers pizzas, lasagna and all those luxurious food.. and as all of them are very hungry and tempted to eat all those luxurious food, all thinking of having extra portion from each other.. having those thought like ( ill have that bigger pizza portion, the one on the left looks smaller) >> or some will be saying.. i shall take 2 pizza as one is not enough.. But little that they know that god has neglected to give them elbows.. every time they tried to eat and get the food to reach their mouth, their hands were too far away. And since there is no elbow they cant manage to get the food to the mouth.... Eventually after trying and trying they got sooo frustrated and they gave up... cursing and saying that God is cruel for not giving them elbows and God is not doing the job properly.they blamed God, and grow angry and resentful, and end up deciding not to believe in Him at all. Its is not that god wants to see you suffer.. but people tend to not understand that when life hits u hard and gives u the worst thing you could ever imagine.. you should show life how to get back up and punch it right back at the face of life.. that you can do it.. Not that you should give up.. People tend to not understand this much about life.. all they want is the easy way out in everything they have.. all they ever need is shortcut to everything.. Life is about how you manage it.. God never promised you a good life or a bad one.. he just chucked you out here to go and GET ONE!! you make it good or bad.. by how u think and react.. If we do not understand why we are suffering,when will we realize that behind everything there is always something good out of it.. think in a creative ways on how to face your so called endless suffering..

so yeah back to the story again about those elbow-less bunch of people that was not accepting the fact that all those luxurious food was just at the table and they cant seems to get it into their mouth..As they were busy cursing and complaining on how their life will be much better if they had elbow..and thinking of whats the point of giving them all those pizza's, lasagna and cakes if they cant even eat it Because if you really do think creatively on how to react to those events that happens in ur life.. than not having an elbow to eat doesn't stop you from eating.. God always create something with the goodness in his eyes for all of us.. there is intrinsic dignity something of great worth sitting before those that suffer.. Because if you look closely.. The only thing you should be doing was to move from your seat and reach out on your elbow-less arms across the table to pick up the food from one another plates and just feed each other.. That is what human eyes cant see how great and compassion God had created, but we are too blind to even take a step back to realize that everything happens for a good reason.. all we ever think is how to fill our stomach with food that we forgot that if we filled others stomach with food others will fill your stomach as well.. Life is not only about you and yourself.. is about how we all together build lives with each other.. like the term of (sharing is caring ) >>> not everything is eligible for sharing is caring.. im not expecting you to say that to your boss that sharing is caring so ur wife is mine!! cos that will surely cost u ur JOB.. and dont ever blamed me cos of ur dumb misinterpretation on Sharing is caring okay! :)

I may not be perfect, i may also whine in life ( most of my time actually ) but there is a point of time when i stop blaming others and even god for making me who i am today.. Because i believed he gave me a LIFE.. Its up to me how to deal with mine. Misfortune doesn't mean that God love you less and love others more.. Misfortune means, God loves u so much to see how much will u reach out for what u need in life. and god will love u the most when ur misfortune and still helping those unfortunate to build their life together with yours... and i always believe at the end of every human story.. is always a happy ending... and if there is no happy ending in ur life... means god will repay you back at the end of the world.. So when life kicks u hard on ur butt.. and eventually will make u fall flat face down on the ground.. Step back up.. dust yourself and just say "bring it on baby.. this isnt over yet " and continue.. That is the only way.. ull gain respect from others as well... Anyway, this is how i see life as.. You dont have to run a race to win.. You dont have to always race to be the top of others.. its always about how many people that u bring up together with you on ur way up.. that wat life is all about.. this is what i want my life to be... the amount of people you helped in life are those that will help u in your life.. this is what life is... maybe not for you.. but it is for me :)

BACK TO MELAKA AND IM LOVING IT

2011-12-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

well well.. finger exercising starting now~~~ :)

Since im missing my blogging soo much.. ive decided to take a small short break and start writing.. yeah i still know that no one bothers to read it anyway :) but who cares :D I enjoy writing and i guess im the only one reading it 1000 times :D and ill make my frens hear it ( by force tho ) :D
wat are frens for rite??? =P

Anyway.. Melaka Trip is really awesome.. giving two thumbs up for melaka~~ getting much more nicer day by day.. <--- jealous too because it was sucky when our batch was in Melaka.. Now seems everybody getting all this facilities that we never had before!! such a spoil brats all of the newbies!! Anyway .. About melaka.. ill start elaborating since i wanna avoid talking about my self all the time.. ( yeah i know sometimes i can be self obsess but i cant help it to love my self :P :P )

soo yeah~ Melaka.. my love of life.. the city i wish i can be brought up in since born.. city of calm and harmony.. very down to earth people around, sweet and helpful citizens... very very spontaneous lifestyle.. u can get dirty and muddy and no one bothers.. no one cares :) u can wear slipers and shorts .. and still no one will look in disgrace.. a place where i call HOME :) the love i have for this city and the people is just so unexplainable.. the simple life.. the simple people.. living life sharing and caring about others.. <--- seriously not exaggerating in any sense.. :) I JUST LOVE MELAKA..

Soo yeah.. enuff with all those mushy mushy feelings about Melaka.. i sounded gay for awhile :P
Back to me !! Melaka was really awesome.. weather was really cold ...and windy :) i loved it like nothing else matter ... KL is nothing to be even compared to Melaka.. for me.. KL is a busy city where i cant find any peace and quiet time for myself. I just feel like, its the perfect runaway from this busy city i was living in.. so yeah.. first day arrived here.. almost made me kissed the road and roll all over the road ( not to mentioned that the roads are pretty much empty most of the time tho ) but anyway .. yeah surely i din do that :) anway .. reached and went to pahlawan.. Makhota and ate in pak putra.. For all of u that dunno wat Pak Putra is ... Its the most AWESOMENESS shop in the whole Melaka.. ( for me again =P ) its a pakistani restaurant serving all those north indian / pakistani food... ill suggest u guys to try ( chicken hydrabadi, Bombay chicken , potato zeera, palak paneer and pasanda chicken ) My god.. The taste of heaven.. ( not tat ive tasted heaven before but still yeah AWESOMEE dude )

Anyway.. after that we went around to take pictures!! like Loads and loads and loadssss of pictures.. i guess till the camera eventually gave us a sign saying like.. if u dont shut me down.. ill shut ur life with a destroyed memory card and we will see then ) :P if camera can really talk.. i think the only thing i can hear it saying would be ENUFF sha , no matter how many shots u take.. ur still gonna look the same ... **FUGLY** sooo please... :P hahahhaha

Anyway.. i am dreaminggg and dreaming to get a DSLR!! my god.. the price for it is like half of my salary!!! damn!!!!! i guess i am gonna start collecting money for it!! :) it took me 3 months to collect for my phone :) i guess this will take at least 4 months!!! boohoo!! :) 4 more months.. insyallah ill buy a DSLR :) and then!!! I willll pose pose n pose n pose n pose n pose.. and i will pose again :P hahahhahahahhaa :P bad idea.. yeah i know!! but i am obsess of pictures :) I love pictures cos sometimes when im bored.. ill play all those pictures as a slide show and start remembering the sweet moment in my past.. with frens and crazy times ... those that can never be repeated but only can be cherished :) anyway.. who cares.. i like taking pictures is sooo my hobby.. if u think im a maniac :) than DAMN right u are.. i am a MANIAC :) a picture loving obsess maniac :D and i am sooo loving it tho!! :)

anyway.. my fingers is not catching up with my words from my mouth and mind.. its slowing down somehow.. :P anyway i guess im gonna start dreaming on my DSLR in my lalaland.. and u guys can also join me in my **imaginary dream photoshoot ** :) adios amigos :)

A morning Drama is wat i called it ~.~

2011-12-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

so yeahhh.. I din go to the Genting trip i was **so called** looking forward too.. But who cares anyway... and yeah.. i am stuck with my best fren on the same bed sleeping next to each other where my face meets her legs.. and my leg at her face... i dont know why its been since our Uni life that we seems to sleep in that position tho~~ ( like heloo, we dont wanna end up kissing each other at nite while our faces meets.. and i rather kiss her feet.. <--- even tho i wished she washed it before sleeping ) looolx =P i know ull be reading this soon enuff ila :) meow?? :P hahaha

Anyway back to the story.. the drama of the year.. Early morning woke up and saw something on facebook.. **status of cos..** and runaway all the way downstairs ( eventually without even brushing my teeth yet or washed my face ) <-- and yea... u guys did this too once in ur life time right..~~ dun act all innocent and start doing that EWW face =.= ) .... anyway yeah.. grab the phone and start dialling ilah.. ** wat the hell happen to u bitch? <--- replied with tears (sob sob sob ) ....

Panicked a while listening to her Morning drama <--- who on earth wanna watch tv when i have a LIVE drama infront of me =P ... then made a few more calls.. and things didnt seem to get any better~~ damn ( i thought ) ... Genting trip was canceled due to our *morning drama* and I grabbed my towel.. <--- remembering i didnt even brushed my teeth ... showered and got ready.. went to my Besties house.. and spent a nite here listening to her sobs... T.T it was until the matter was fixed that she started to =) smile back <--- and believe me the smile like i've never seen before.. straigh right up to the ears kinda smile u know.. ( even tho it sounded like she looks like a freaking clown with that smile.. but i know deep down this bitch of mine is Happy :)

And yeah.. the morning drama Ended afternoon.. :P wasnt really a long dilemma that was dragged till a week or so~ :) anyway anyhow :) drama ended.. happy ending and ^__^ love story is back on track :)

For Nadia.. i wanna say sorry for not be able to make it up to Genting... I had to solve this dilemma of my besties.. and i know it somehow ruined ur birthday ( not that i think ull read this blog anyway .. just incase u did ) i wanna you to know.. im sorry .. and also on Ilah's behalf.. we are truly sorry... T.T forgive us.. sometimes shits do happen.. and we cant seems to figure out wat needs to be done.. but sometimes lesson will be learn for a life time due to just small problem.. :) tats wat i guess we learnt yesterday

Anyway back to our main story.. Genting was canceled yeah.. bo hoO~ but Melaka is still on.. and awesome.. i am looking forward for Melaka trip like forever.. Dear god.. Even tho im a nonesence and always not listening to u all the time.. please .. please do make my dream come true to go Melaka and have a blast... I sooo wanna go meet my frens.. visit my old house.. visit my lecturer and the old playground behind my old house.. and the shops that i always drag my feet and walk under the sun to.. And i wanna see how awesome the place became after i left it~~ ahhh sooo many memories.. so little time.. but watever it is.. a big HAPPY ME :)

Whoaa~~~ ive been blogging like Forever long~~ i think its not only MY MOUTH are the thing in my body system that cant seems to shut~~ i notice my finger too now~~ whoaa.. slowly one by one thing wont be shutting down, and ill end up beeing even more **pain in the ass ** not only by talking.. but typing too~ :) hehehe anyway is nice either i get to annoy ur ears.. or annoy your eyes for reading this lengthy essay :P hehe

So yeah.. ill stop for now.. even tho i wish i can wrote forever.. but time is not letting me too. need to shower <--n brush my teeth ( yeah i do facebook before washing my face or brushing my teeth ... WatsTheBiGDeal~ ) like u guys never do that before ;) anyway KL is waiting for me..
GTG bukit bintang and shop for stuff~ :) den straight to Melaka... BYe KL~ come Come Melaka..~~ Adios.. i am gonna shower now~~ Chowzz~

Cant seem to Sleep.. so blogging is the next best thing !!

2011-12-07T08:18:00.001-08:00

Tossing and turning... been almost an hour now ~.~ serves me right for sleeping at the bloody wrong time..when will i ever learn that there is a reason they call it **sleeping time** because there is suppose to be a right **TIME** when ur goin to sleep.. Was super sleepy in office ><" end up snoring like a pig after work.. thot it wud be an hour nap.. but extended to damn 2 in half hour dangerously snoring deep sleep... Woww.. so much for a nap huh!! couldnt help it tho.. was really having my **landscape eyes on back then ** --> (-.-) Now that i cant sleep.. my best companian would be talking to this machine that we call Laptop.. for none watsoever reason...so the time passes by faster and without us knowing will be snoring on the keyboard while drooling all over it.. ** Yucks ><" ** now we know why most of the keyboard of laptops are the ones that always gets faulty first.. :P hahah

Dont u look at me with this kind of face =.= all of u!!! like u guys never actually slept on the keyboard before.. well i dont care! i did :) and im proud of it :) its a talent actually to sleep on that hard surface rather than ur comfy pillow.. and tell me how many of you are able to wake up finding marks of keyboard letters on ur face?? huh?? huh?? tell me?? how many of u?? :P hahahahaha.. <--- started to crap more cos i am really loosing it for not getting my slumber princess sleep tho! Well lets choose the topic to talk about.. mmm why do i sound like im in a freaking group discussion all of a sudden?? ><" ( back to reality with facts knowing - first- no one gonna read this shit && second -- no one gives a damn care anyway on wat im gonna blab ) -..- so yeah~~ i think ill ask myself for now :) **what topic should I choose ** hurmm~~~

...................................
..................................................................
................................................................................
....................................... (0.0 ) ? ..............................................
.................... =.= !! ............................................................................... .............................................**okay i give up ** ................................................

well at least i tried.. ~~ is just this tossing and turning is killing me softly~~ .. sheep is not anywhere around me that i can count.. remembering how mr bean counted sheep in his episodes not helping either.. it makes me laugh even more and now causes me to be more wide awake.. Anyway.. i guess since i barely have any topic.. and my head is sooooo out of tune with birds flying around.. i need my sleeeeeepp~~ if only i can program myself with C++ coding to shutdown my system for 8 hours.. it wud be something like this probably?

#include
using namespace std;
int main ()
system("shut down -s -t/8 hours = shafareena brainsystem");
return 0;

Okay im going way way way way way limitless crazy.. soo rather than making trouble for myself to use all these code.. i guess a hammer on my head will set me 8 hours straight.. not in deep sleep maybe.. but hey .at least hammer will knock me out eventually right :) who will do the honor :P ** pretend not to see anyone picking up their hand ** :) :) anway good nite... i sooo wanna sleep now please bring extra food cos im kinda hungry :) nenite~

Sleepy Meepy Day.. Lets start counting sheep ya'all

2011-12-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

Morning bloggers...

Nothing great about this morning cos the only fact there is that im freakinglishly sleepy ><"

Anyone wanna do me the honour of slapping me thru the face to wake me up! i so am not in a mood to work today..!! there u go again sha!! early morning whine~~

I guess i have to change my name to Sha Whine-house ~ =.= ohh well~ anyway im kinda excited and looking forward for this great weekend gateway from all these nonsense .. as in work and waking up in the morning to just get stuck in the JAM for ever!!! this 9 days holiday would be the best.. i would sleep.. sleep.. sleep.. wake up eat.. n sleep ..sleep.. and eat while sleeping again... and sleep.. and shower? nah! skip :P hehehehhe

Genting will be in the list .. and right next to it will be Melaka~ :) awesome huh~~ Cant wait to actually go meet my frens back.. I am soo purely ZOMBIFIED here in KL.. its not i hate it soo much.. im just exaggerating on how i am assuming Melaka should be way way better than KL.. when the whole worlds knows thats impossible.!! anyway.. Melaka.. where i call my 2nd home.. is a place i kinda spend half of my adulthood in :) so Damn Bloody hell Yeah.. thats the coolest place for me!! =)

Well.. I am soo confused on what to buy for my frens Birthday~~ :) oh anyway happy Birthday Naddy =) God Bless You My Fair Princess :) and maybe u can help ur miserable sleepyhead fren to think of what should she buy for u .. for your birthday? :P cmon be a darling and help my sad ass here~ back to where i was again.. YEah~ we will be celebrating in Genting Highland~~

Hopefully i was in a good list in god's diary for this past few weeks so that he would grant my wish that it will be shinning bright and not even a slight rain in Genting.. so i can enjoy my ride.. not worrying about paying 60 RM to actually view the close chained door of Genting theme park cos of the rain~ :) do make my wish come true... **begging face @.@ ** pweety pwease?

Anyway.. thinking of places to go in Melaka.. Seaside is a MUST!! the top of my list.. Ive missed sea like NO ONE could ever imagine!!... my life is all about sitting next to the sea side and listening to MP3 ( not that i have one tho~~ wish i do ) -- but for my case i will be using my phone to listen to songs.. whatever sha~~ anyway yeah~ listening to music.. and just lay down on those damp sandy sand! and of cos its not on sunny munny day.. should be sumwhere at dawn~ owhhhhh ** what a feeling <---- actually started fantasizing about it already ><"

Anyway if u give me forever .. ill still not stop writing.. before my bigger boss comes in finding me blogging and gets either my hands chop or head!~ <-- ( following his mood swings for sure )

I better be going~ =) adioz amigos~ btw i still need that slap to wake me up.. cos blogging din do any good =.= so much for the SHA's Book Of Theory~~ ( another note to myself.. Blogging doesnt make u widSave Nowe awake.. it makes u sleepier after reading it back ) --- okay Noted!!

Anyway..to all out there that is sleepy in the office.. ill suggest you guys to... mmmm .. sleep? =P but when ur boss called ur name and say are u sleeping.. jst answer him back.. NO BOSS! cant u see.. Im THINKING!! im in a deep Thought... uve ruined it!! now see i have to start back all over.. DND mode~~ :) and continue sleeping :) =.= chows

A Long Way To Go :)

2011-12-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

well well well lets see what we've got here.. :)

Back again to blab about my life over and over again.. beeing pain in the ass at office didnt help much that ive started blogging so i can annoy the others too with my own dilemma.. **as if anyone would care less? ** anyway back to my whole sort of dilemma thingy~~

Mom is nagging about me getting married..~ oh this soo traditional way of getting married sort of thing~~ u know like .. ill find u a guy.. get to know him.. if u like him marry him.. if not.. dont :) thanks mom for at least being linean to me rather than those monster mom that say.. NO marry him and tats final~~ (( imagining myself there for a while...@.@ damn its scary **))

Anyway.. she is trying to hook me up with a bunch of guys that are also finding wifes according to their mom.. soo its like mom n mom talk and son and daughter meets? mom n dad will smile and daughter n son makes decision? like?? OMG.. where is he from.. what is he doing?? he ever cheated his ex before? why is he following traditional way.. ?? is he close minded too? what if his tamper is really bad?? what if he snores everyday until the ex eventually left him?? does he likes chocolate or vanilla? does he likes to shopping?? or is he those book worms that think library is thier castle? is he interested in a girl thats Loud? ( thats me ) or annoying?? or blogs about her problem so the whole worlds knows her dilemma? does he likes to sing?? or maybe movies?? chocolate ? is he allergic to bullshit?? my god~~ too many question.. but how the hell are we gonna know??

Like momm?? u really thing ill get to know him in a month or two.. it will be able to answer my lifetime question.. Btw.. there is more questions.. but ill skip that part.. cos its never ending u see? anyway... like really??? how am i suppose to ask him anything at all!! then they will start saying like.. Ohhh look at thiss snoobish bitch~~ too many question~ like chill girl.. ur not beyonce~ =.= ( ive always hve this thinking that guys always thinks that u have to be beyonce to ask those sort of questions u know ) - BinGO~ just cos she is hot~~ duh ><"

anyway.. **sigh** all those dreams of having a prince charming on a horse ridding with his shinning armor.. disappeared totally~ like really **POOOF** Vanish into thin air... and all i can see is............................ NOTHING :( ... Oh Sha!! grow up now~~ uve been such a whiner all ur life and everybody knows that...

Well for me it might seem like a big dilemma :) well i guess that dilemma have to wait cos im still young and my time to enjoy is here baby~ :) whoever guy that mom is finding can wait :) i am on vacation baby~ :) will meet u after my honey moon year gone by~ :) and wrinkles start to merge up.. then maybe ill be back :) ^__^ sayonara~~ :)

LIFE IS NOT A SMOOTH SAILING BOAT~ :) IS ALWAYS AN UPROAR BATTLE THAT WILL SINK THAT BOAT... Get ready with a life Jacket ~:)

2011-09-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

~~Back From Eid HOliday~~

Helow peepz... Im back after Hari Raya Aidilfitri nice long comfy holiday... Neway The Hari Raya first day was with my cuziies :) in My grandma house.. our one and only HOTSPOT every year.. We tend to make sure each n everyone of us will be there to Celebrate the First day of Hari Raya Together.. Is soo much fun.. But this year we didnt play fire crackers.. such a sad thing tho!! Bcos tat is the most awesomeness moment u cn ever Have in tat one full yEar ~ . ~

But anyway.. went there, met my cousiess. Dea, Naz, Tashie, Sara.. and the little ones.. adam, amir, tisya, khalil syaqil, iman and yazzie.. and plenty more!! my god.. our 4th generation is getting wider day by day ... woow... POcket Money also will decrease every Hari Raya.. My god!! ANyway.. we had alot of fun. tho the best part of it is to get HARI RAYA MONEEY.. this year not getting any.. huhuhu since ur already working.. it means just shut up n sit down u aint getting any money anymore.. is better to sit down quietly rather than to open ur mouth and end up u have to pay for the lil ones since ur working :P

I went thru the day by keeping quiet :P and yeay.. i managed to escape :P heeee ^ _____^ such an evil aunty i am :P i know :P looool... anywaya :) despite tat.. we took alot of picca~~~ omg was really such a nice house after my aunt renovated it... the house became like one if the hotspot in Bangsar :) awesomeness is all over :P heee

i will share with u some of the piccas we took during our EID PHOTOSHOOT.. was really nice :)

2011-08-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

*** such a blurry lurry day ***

woke up in the morning.. grab my towel and heading to the toilet wit eyes half close.... just as the water touches my face...... ~~ITS THURSDAY~~ =.=!! im suppose to go to work at 12 midnite, and i was ready to shower at 10 am.. =) and yes it was too little too late, that when my face was soaking with water.. my eyes wasnt half asleep anymore..~~ grab the towel.. and head back to bed.. instead of sleeping back..
Here i am.. writting this blog... all thanks to my stupid alarm clock tat woke me up sooo early... Thanks to my neighbors dog tat was barking too much cos of the mailman i guess.. Thanks to my brain that is not tat sharp.. thanks to my problematic brain always having difficulties to remember CALENDER ( i had to ask my maid wat day was it ) .. and thanks to my stupid Shift schedule for this week... to all of u guys tat is laughing out there.. ** i know sum of u experienced the same thing.. especially those who works in shift ** anyway... heads still feels heavy, hearts still feels sober.. Love still remain unsatisfied, Heart is remaining broken.. thanks to the word we call LOVE n SACRIFICES.. but yeah.. u know i believe in KARMA.. wat goes around will always come back around.. so please beware to those who breaks peoples heart.. God wont Let u go tat easily.. just watch, Ur time will come.. and when u end up having heavy head and sober heart because of love.. tats when u will remember the amount of pain u caused the others by ur stupid behavior.. Its been almost 4 days, and i still feel somehow the same.. I feel i am moving on faster now, because when a person breaks u.. u just try to show them ur not broken even if u are.. but i guess for me.. i really did move on while playing the game of pretending to not feel broken.. It shud be a great news for me, cos i dun wanna spend my time crying for sumone tats not worth it..
Anyway.. morning report done.. will be back soon i guess~~ i wanna sleep back~~ 10.36 am ---- morning world.. Gud nite sha :)

2011-08-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

This is My Twisted Love Story

Just about when everything seems to settle down in place and waiting for the right time to come.. thats when life take its toll in me , and turn 360 degree to bite me in the ass.. Great.. for all those time i spend for nothing.. now become just memories.. sometimes is good to hv sweet memories.. but all i can think about at this time is the memories that I WISHED i had.. but i didn't...

Why issit soo hard for a guy to understand me.. why issit so hard for them to fulfill my needs like i fulfilled theirs.. why issit so hard for them to make me happy like how i made them happy...why issit so hard for them to just love me the way i LOVE them..

It shatters my heart when u lie to me.. once or twice ill accept it.. but sometimes too much of it makes the relaitionship status to be broken.. our love is not as strong as it used to be.. my love has taken the energy out of me.. and all those i wasted on being sad and broken at last..
Issit fair for me..issit fair for my life.. What did i ever do to u to deserve wat ur doing to me..
what didnt i give u when u just utter a word.. I took care of u when ur sick.. i took care of u when ur hungry.. i took u go around so u wont be bored... i care for ur feelings more than mine, i get scolded from my family just cos of u... I got letter from my office just cos i wanted to spend more time with u... there is more than tat i did in my life that it will take the rest of ur life to pay me back...but nevermind... u never appreciate my love.. u never took me as a lover.. all u see me as ws just a gf to u.. which has no value in ur eyes.. tats why u can lie and lie to me.. u can make fool out of myself.. is ok..

Just because i treated u with love, care, sweetness and tender love.. doesnt mean u have to treat me like rubbish, lie to me like i have no feelings.. anyway.. god is great.. Allah has always make us meet the wrong person in life that when we met the right one.. we will learn to appreciate it.. but i guess.. Allah also wants me to see, sweetness in the tongue can never replace a real LOVE because what u hear is not what you see.. And i wish that i hear less and i see more..But my love story is a twisted love story.. my love story ends in hatred.. my love story ended not by loving each other to let go.. but my Love story ended because of the selfishness of a person, and because of lies.. because of No more Trust..My love story is not a story ill be proud to tell my family or grandchildren about..my love story is just a plain simple story that ended up in pain n sorrow..

How i wish it didnt end.. but how i wish it ended earlier so i wouldn't have felt this way.. i wouldn't have felt this lie and i wouldn't have felt this much of hurt... thanks to **you know who u are** for taking me when i was down and covered me by ur hugs, who showed me love and caring, and who showed me the love.. but at the end.. threw me back on the floor and break my shattered heart to smaller pieces.. and at the end.. spit on the love with lies and walk away..... tat is my love story.... thanks to u .. im back to where i started.. and this time.. no one will touch me to make me stand .... ill make u guys watch, how i can stand back up.. and never ever will i turn back to look at my past.. U are my past.. ull remain in my past..

its my time to walk away now.. ill take my life and the heart u broke with me.. ull never see me anymore.. u never will.. keep my good memories with u cos all left of u are the memories that u spoiled.. all made of u are those memories that u spit on.. I will take my shattered dream with me.. ill be alone for now.. thanks for all those hurt u gave me as replacement of all those love i showed u.. thanks for all the time u broke my heart as replacement for the time i heal ur heart... thanks for making me cry more than before and thanks for the newly fresh wound u stabbed in my heart.... Goodbye forever

2011-08-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

QUOTE FOR NOW? QUOTE FOR LIFE?

Well.. well.. well.. Lets start on my area of interest.. :) i Love quotes.. My life surrounded by quotes.. U can call me QUOTE FREAK... cos i like when i read some quotes and how it resemble my on my feeling at that point of time.. How i feel like.. YAHH... Tats it,, this is wat exactly im feeling.. :) and when the words was put up in such a way.. it made it more interesting.. :) soo yeap! :) here i am to share some of the quotes tat attract my eyes :)

For now i guess this much of Quotes i can pass on to you.. Hope u enjoy with multiple diffrent kind of quotes.. some of them really do make sense :) anyway its kinda late ... tomorrow working ..sigh wat a day wud it be.. such a burden.. whyyyy do we have to work!!! arghhH!! i really do wish my fairytale story wud come true where money cud be plucked from the tree.!!! grrr... wer can i find these kind of tree!!! boooo hooo =( anyway.. gud nite bloggers... :)

2011-08-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

Back On Track

Back again after ages... its been such a long time, guess my English n also grammer error will be really obvious.. :) anyway keep aside on my rusty english.. Im here not for exams :P

Im here to blab more about my life.. !!!! my current life im living in.. Working in HSBC has taken all my energy till grey hair is growing on and on making its way thru my skull....well for the first time in history of ma own life.. i kinda have NOTHING to say... its kinda weird cos if anyone who knows me personally will find it really awkward not hearing anything from my mouth that they call it HITZ.fm... 24 hours around the clock.. :P

Anyway what new in my life.. Let me think?? mmmm?? mmm??? a longer MmmMMmMmMm??
I guess everyting seems to be the same.. i still do talk nonstop.. im still taller than anyone in anyplace.. im still tan skinned.. im not getting any thinner by the way.. i still hate to go work in the morning.. i love cats alot ... ice cream is still my medicine for flu, fever, anger and happy moments. I suck in babysitting.. shopaholic.. can spend hours on walking around and do absolutely NOTING :) Loves to tease people and make fun on em.. Im sophisticated and sometimes hard to be understood.. I walk and talk at the same time.. I often laugh my lungs out hysterically without giving a damn on other that are passing by.. I go crazy when im with my girls.. I love Gossips.. i love people who loves me.. and im really cranky at times :) :) well yeap!! guess its still the same old same old me :)

Well since im getting my fingers exercise on this keyboard.. i think one of the best way im gonna ever improve my writting will be this page it self :) awesome.. found my own lucky spot where i cud curse, praise, be happy, be sad, be angry and do anyting i wanna do :) ...

Till then!! :) will surely do write soon enuff !! :)